NSSF Uganda

This exciting, exhilarating, action-packed league of tales is brought to you by…

Open this door for Part One: OPEN.

Previously on Tales Of The Fund.

  • A mother exists.
  • She produces twins, Simon & Kato.
  • She dies.
  • A mothball-looking lawyer tells the twins they’ve inherited 60M.
  • But how? From where? The tale continues?

And now Part Two…

Random girls doing mazina maganda while staring straight into the camera. Ushered out of view by two raging goats with red eyes running towards them

(Camera zooms out and then zooms in on a zit on someone’s nose. Camera stays there and moviegoers take bets on whose nose it is….)

(Camera zooms out and we see the face of the mothballed lawyer from part one of this horrific romantic comedy. As the more perceptive of you may have guessed, the nose also belongs to him.)

Mothball lawyer steadies his hand as he lifts a glass of water to his lips. His shoulders are hunched and he is weary.

2 hours earlier

(Shattering glass, loud accented voice) Mothball lawyer, I will be back for my money in 2 hours. You better have it if you know what’s good for you.

Mothball lawyer: (Pleading) I’ll have your money El Fuego. I just need more time. I’m handling this big inheritance for…

El Fuego:  2 hours…that’s it. 1.2. (Walks out like a drama queen, summons his goons to follow him)

2 hours later

The door’s kicked in. Mothball lawyer gets up, splatters the water he was attempting to sip and starts mumbling something. The goons are hard of hearing. They give him a phenomenal earth-shattering whooping that was last seen on screen when the Hulk faced off with Thumbelina. Mothball lawyer goes into a coma.

At the twins’ residence

The twins, in their Sunday best, sit and wait for mothball lawyer to show up and read to them the details of their recently-acquired wealth. Simon’s already picturing all the teachers he’ll go visit and tell them ‘Look who made it….muhahahaha. mulol’. He spends several minutes practicing his evil mulol in the mirror. He settles for a cross between a chicken cluck and a bleating goat gurgling water while being strangled.

3 hours later

Being stood up is a new concept the twins are starting to learn. Re-reading ‘Chic’ magazine has lost its appeal and the duo is now restless. Simon is dealing by playing hide-and-seek with the maid; Kato is enduring news on WBS.

1 week later

The twins have changed clothes a number of times and bathed almost as many times. Even though they both go about their usual teenage routines, they are each still waiting on the mothball lawyer, bored.

8 years later

Simon works with a top-secret organization outside countries and his job is to ask people who believe they’ve met aliens to look at a katorchi phone which emits light and erases their memory.

Kato works a drab 8-to-5 job in the rat race in Uganda.

One day, (one night, in Simon’s case due to different time zones), the twins receive a phone call. They pick up.

“Hullo”, crackles the voice on the other end.

“It’s mothball lawyer…”

Your catch:

Write your own version of a kickass ending to this story. The ending with the highest number of likes by 4pm Friday gets 40k airtime free just like that. NSSF doesn’t make you hassle when something belongs to you.