Making the Bland… er, Making The Band


As fans await the Maurice Kirya show with the kind of excitement exhibited by an instructor at an institution of higher learning, news reaching our singular collective desk has it that there’s a new band in the making. No, Maurice (what? We know him on a first name basis now) is not putting it together, but some other enterprising albeit random dude.

We have an interview. Unfortunately

Us:  We are excited. We just saw Desire Luzinda wearing a dress that looked at us like it was suffocating, but enough about us, who are you?

Them: I’m glad you asked. I am an enterprising albeit random dude that has put together a new band. I’m calling it, “The Way She Looks At Me”

Us: Not to throw a sex tape into your mix, but…

Them: Excuse please?

Us: That is to say, not to dampen your spirits, but isn’t that name a little, what’s the politically correct term for this… shite?

Them: Not at all. We are Uganda’s FIRST rock band!

Us: That’s not entirely accurate, there’s The Uneven…

Them: The Uneven? That’s odd. Also, for-us we are an all boy band. First ask me about our members also you.

Us: *sigh* Can you tell us about the members?

Them: I thought you would never ask. There’s Pete on the Piano, Baz on Bass, Dan on Guitar and E on an Elephant…

Us: Haha, E on an Elephant, did you mean on the trumpet.

Them: No. An elephant. Some people like to ride horses, Straka has a pony and E has his Elephant. Next question please.

Us: *mumbling* they live among us. *Not mumbling anymore* Alright, so do you have any songs out?

Them: Not at the moment, but in the future we should have at least one.

Us: Forgive us for being a little slow here, but isn’t the plan to actually have songs?

Them: Well, okay. Baz had written down a song, but we want to first cultivate interest by way of our Facebook fan page. It’s tentatively titled, “My lady wasn’t feeling well, so I filled her well”

Us: That’s disgusting…even Red Pepper wouldn’t come near that.

RP: First wait, let’s talk about this…

Them: ‘Come’?

RP: *chuckles* mbu ‘come’.

Us: Why don’t you just say, “I felt her well”?

Them: That would just be obscene, what kind of band do you take us for? So anyway. The idea is to have people like our page on Facebook and then we may attract some big shot producer to do our songs.

Us: Have you lined up any collabos?

Them: Well, we want to do something with The Mith, Keko and Weasle. We also wanted to do something with Rabba Dabba, but with his busy schedule he may knife us.. But if we can get all of them…All at once, It’s gonna be murder!

Us: The Facebook page seems to have album artwork already. What’s up with that?

Them: Well, what sort of band would we be if we were not planning to have albums? We are pretty flexible that way. We also wanted to approach this from a health marketing perspective so that we have messages of positivity. In an ideal setting we would partner with a condom and gain recognition. We may even become known as the Rubber Band…

 Us: And that’s all the time we had. We will ask our readers to look you up on Facebook?


Us: Probably not.


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