By now I believe you’ve all heard that Gud Lyf singers Radio & TV were nominated for the 2013 BET Awards? Its all over all medias covering Uganda Entertainment News that the sensation duo will be for the first time representing Uganda in one of the most prestigious music awards in the world.
The BET Awards are not those of sports betting. They are what happens when a black entertainment television station from outside countries pokes its nose in talented people’s business like this.
We sent highly-skilled ninjas down to Radio & Weasel’s home in Microsoft Word to steal an interview and deliver it to ULK headquarters for the pleasurement of our readers.
ULK: We are meeting…
ULK: I’ll start with a question that has secured a special place in hell for many Ugandan interviewers. They’ve molested it a lot but you know our judicial system.
Radio: What’s the question?
ULK: Where did it all start?
Radio: Well, I grew up in…
ULK: Just playing LOL. No one ever really wants to know that crap. We’ll just assume it started when you became awesome and people everywhere allowed.
Radio: Thank you!
ULK: So why do you start speaking in tongues halfway the song?
Radio: No, that’s Weasel’s part.
Weasel: Ya man! Weasal ma nizzo wuiyuivu bmre vfuihqwuj vipq pfzqxpir bvhuew uiuqwiugfwee!!!
ULK: I see. Does he understand himself?
Radio: Yeah! Everyone understands him.
ULK: Why don’t you guys get an interpreter? And then it becomes Radio & Weasel & Interpreter… or before Weasel’s part, the DJ could pause the song and ask people on the dance floor to first open Google Translate.
Weasel: Hpldjiore vfufhhsdnhiv sduhajwiov uwhuicn uqqijifm fjhehwqjimjsd osn ocheio oiq jiqjjfpjopjnhshvuibgdghui aioh uishefi qho aqiohfoq ohwea fhhz fuawheh hwehrioh zxcnbvz sfgq fauyq nduiwjk db awbwqbigb a hqvgh aba bqbvuftywfbv c nmsbjppdpj fbn aoh hd????!!!!
ULK: What did he say?
Radio: He asked what you meant.
ULK: Tell him…
Weasel: I speak English, badman!
ULK: Oh! Maybe the one you were speaking earlier is for reptiles. Anyway, so now that you guys have been elevated high up to a point where many Ugandan artistes reach only when they smoke weed, are you going to start bragging?
Weasel: No, that’s not our thing. We are humbled and very thankful to our friends, family, colleagues and, most of all, our fans for pushing us to…
ULK: What are you doing??!
ULK: That doesn’t sound like bragging. When you win an international nomination, you’re supposed to brag until your haters kill themselves. I don’t write these laws. It’s your MPs. We just have to follow them.
Weasel: I don’t think people will like it.
ULK: They’ll think you’re being good citizens.
Radio: Okay… EAT KAZAMBI, HATEEEEEERS!!! MUSUMAGIRA, FFE ENSI ETUWAGIRA! GUDLYF FOR LIFE!!!
Weasel: …zqwuyeweuhq qhiwh wqhuqwd whqiodh qwhwqwd ohqfhiowqhfio…