By now I believe you’ve all heard that Ugandan entertainment appliances, Radio & TV were nominated for the 2013 BET Awards?
The BET Awards are not those of sports betting. They are what happens when a black entertainment television station from outside countries pokes its nose in talented people’s business like this.
We sent highly-skilled ninjas down to Radio & Weasel’s home in Microsoft Word to steal an interview and deliver it to ULK headquarters for the pleasurement of our readers.
ULK: We are meeting…
ULK: I’ll start with a question that has secured a special place in hell for many Ugandan interviewers. They’ve molested it a lot but you know our judicial system.
Radio: What’s the question?
ULK: Where did it all start?
Radio: Well, I grew up in…
ULK: Just playing LOL. No one ever really wants to know that crap. We’ll just assume it started when you became awesome and people everywhere allowed.
Radio: Thank you!
ULK: So why do you start speaking in tongues halfway the song?
Radio: No, that’s Weasel’s part.
Weasel: Ya man! Weasal ma nizzo wuiyuivu bmre vfuihqwuj vipq pfzqxpir bvhuew uiuqwiugfwee!!!
ULK: I see. Does he understand himself?
Radio: Yeah! Everyone understands him.
ULK: Why don’t you guys get an interpreter? And then it becomes Radio & Weasel & Interpreter… or before Weasel’s part, the DJ could pause the song and ask people on the dance floor to first open Google Translate.
Weasel: Hpldjiore vfufhhsdnhiv sduhajwiov uwhuicn uqqijifm fjhehwqjimjsd osn ocheio oiq jiqjjfpjopjnhshvuibgdghui aioh uishefi qho aqiohfoq ohwea fhhz fuawheh hwehrioh zxcnbvz sfgq fauyq nduiwjk db awbwqbigb a hqvgh aba bqbvuftywfbv c nmsbjppdpj fbn aoh hd????!!!!
ULK: What did he say?
Radio: He asked what you meant.
ULK: Tell him…
Weasel: I speak English, badman!
ULK: Oh! Maybe the one you were speaking earlier is for reptiles. Anyway, so now that you guys have been elevated high up to a point where many Ugandan artistes reach only when they smoke weed, are you going to start bragging?
Weasel: No, that’s not our thing. We are humbled and very thankful to our friends, family, colleagues and, most of all, our fans for pushing us to…
ULK: What are you doing??!
ULK: That doesn’t sound like bragging. When you win an international nomination, you’re supposed to brag until your haters kill themselves. I don’t write these laws. It’s your MPs. We just have to follow them.
Weasel: I don’t think people will like it.
ULK: They’ll think you’re being good citizens.
Radio: Okay… EAT KAZAMBI, HATEEEEEERS!!! MUSUMAGIRA, FFE ENSI ETUWAGIRA! GUDLYF FOR LIFE!!!
Weasel: …zqwuyeweuhq qhiwh wqhuqwd whqiodh qwhwqwd ohqfhiowqhfio…