Charcoal stove could have caused Owino fire- Police


According to police, a charcoal stove, so far only identified as Gerome (with a “G”) might have been the cause of the fire that gutted part of the famous Owino market on Tuesday night. It appears that Gerome (with a G) maliciously left himself lit overnight and so caused the devastating fire.
“I remember that particular stove.” Said Mzee Kawekwa, a G-nut and pencil rubber salesman, “It was a frisky little stove that one,” he reminisced fondly. “always making jokes… always ready with a sarcastic remark.”
Police believe Gerome decided to do this dastardly deed, (Though he could also have had an emotional meltdown. Authorities haven’t yet recovered conclusive evidence) when his heart was broken by one Salome, a charcoal saleswoman from stall 242. How his heart could exactly be broken is still a matter that is being investigated by police. Charcoal stoves are not famous for their cardio-vascular systems, brittle or otherwise.
“That is nonsense. He was all heart. When he would see her round the skip the small puddle near the sneakers. All of him would glow! What do you call that? His love for her burnt bright. It surely did.”
Mzee Kawekwa who seems to have been nursing a small stove crush for a while, was in tears by the time he finished telling the story of the stove and the charcoal maiden. Several police officers had already walked off in disgust at this point.
“That sick old man needs a beating. Spat Officer Spita. “And you people of urban legend. Do you have a license to make fun of what are beyond doubt national tragedies?”
We don’t, but you can’t blame us for taking advantage of ambiguous headlines in our leading dailies.


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