Seya: The Man Behind The Ministry Of Portfolio


He came onto the scene with a new tribe of English. He innovatively beautified Kampala with potholes to provide an extra source of income for fishermen in the city. He put his behind on a whole political party, pasted yellow stuff allover it and it won the elections.

For all his remarkable achievements, he was appointed minister of the biggest, most complex ministry in the country: The ministry without portfolio.

Urbanites, please welcome His Folioness Hajji Nasser Ntege Seya Behind Sebaggalagangsta

We are pleased to have you here, Mr Ntege.

Yes it’s okay. Am hearing very well. No needs to please me.


So we hear these boys of parliament refused to allow you to enter the building of your ministry. They are not very serious I tell you! What do you feel about it wamma?

My ministry is the big ones in the country and Kampala here. It is very full. They need many times to be okay to enter me inside there. Polio is hard to be…to be a ministers…I don’t have even an assistants like…like a deputy for the fortfolio.


Such selfishness! They don’t even give you a deputy? Nga for them they have? So what will your ministry be doing?

Well, like I talked early, am a minister for fotolio. So my ministries has a lot of fortpolio in it…and I will be walking to other country like the Americas and in British and see the other fotpo…er…the other ministers for fort portal and the likes.


Eh! That’s very challenging! First take a sip of your drink there, Mr Ntege. Did I put enough sugar?

I know about the sugars and I understand properly about it if it is my very well problem in Kampala. Am very apparent that my ministry will stop it if the problem of this countries is sugar. I will talk to my fellow minister of agriculture and we see.


I’m sure you will. You must be a very good politician for Museveni to give you such tough responsibility. I envy you.

Hehehe no I don’t have nvi, my friends. Am a very young man of age and still growing young age but nvi? No. You see that all my hair is in black without no another colour for old men. But Mr Museveni I don’t know which she has nvi.


So Mr Ntege, what if the boys of parliament still refuse to let you into your new, highly demanding ministry? What’s your plan?

Okay you see, the plans of the buildings is already there. And so there is no necessary for the plans anymore. The building of portfolios is…


Wow! You got it right this time. Good for you! Sorry, please go on.

Yes am very right in the ministry for this time. I have been in the political areas of Uganda for very many years now ever since even before I join mayor so I think am the good man on this job.

So you’re saying you put your behind on yourself for the job?

Yes I put it very much.


ULK wishes you a happy portfolio, Mr Ntege.

You’re welcome.


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